Olivia Love Stocker

Was born on June 2nd, 2011 at 3:37 am on a Thursday morning in Yuba City California. Today on June 30th, she is 4 weeks old.
Everyday I fall more and more in love with this beautiful little Livvy Lou Who. After a few weeks of adjusting to this new little addition and having lots of visitors I think it's time to write about her birth and entrance into this big world and start documenting all of her fun experiences and adventures
I'm so excited to document your little life, as you grow and learn, and as we celebrate all of your birthdays and holidays, and also just the normal days where I get to be home with you one on one teaching you, and watching you experience things for the first time... and excitedly awaiting daddy's arrival from work each night. Right now as I write this, you are lying on my chest asleep, your favorite place to take a nap. I'm kind of convinced that you're going to be a daddy's girl. His big strong arms and the nape of his neck are your safest haven and his calm demeanor and deep voice can sooth you in your most dramatic cry. Both of us are so completely in love with you. We spend a lot of time just staring at you and doading over all your little movements and faces. Daddys favorite thing is when you stretch out all your limbs in the morning and make all the cute squeaky noises. So far you're such a great sleeper at night, and you wake up only one to two times to eat, burp, poop, then back to sleep you go!!
I'm always hearing moms say they don't remember their kids being this little. I can already see how quickly you're growing and changing. I sit here with you Livvy and try my best to soak up these special moments. I want to concrete them in my mind in hopes that I can remember you this little. I think it's easy to get in survival mode in these first few weeks. Especially being a new mom. I have asked myself a few times, wow what did I do with my time before I was a mom? But now my time feels like it has purpose. My heart is full of love for you, and sometimes I'm struck and overwhelmed with the realization that you belong to us, and you're not just here for a visit. We get you for keeps! You are the most important gift I have ever received and I cherish you. I was amazed and will always remember experiencing the "mama bear" feeling that came over me so strongly in the first week. I would do ANYTHING to protect you, and the littlest things made me cry, like when you scratched your face the first time (obviously some hormones involved) Suddenly I was driving like a grandma, and watching closely in my rear view mirror regulating and telling people off who were driving too close behind. It's a little overwhelming being responsible for a life so little and fragile. I hardly slept the first week. I preferred watching your every breath and making sure you were comfortable and breathing perfectly. I know now why my mom has always been concerned for my well being. This is being a mommy. Things I want to remember about you now.....
I was in labor with you for 12 hours and pushed for an hour and 15 minutes, starting at 2:22 a.m.
You were 7 lbs 13 oz and 20.5 inches long.
You arrived right on your due date, the day after Uncle Josh's birthday and it was a Thursday morning.
The day you were born Yuba had tornado warnings and some family members actually saw a tornado touch down in live oak!
The people at the hospital to welcome you were mommy and daddy nana and papa aunt Andrea and aunt Heather.
You were so alert and aware of your surroundings from the very start. You recognized both of our voices and you even held your head up to try and look at us.
You are so stong. Nana came to stay with us to help the first week and she said she had never seen a newborn so alert and wide eyed.
You came out sucking and ready to eat, and latched on right away to feed, such a special moment for mommy.
You love your hands and use them to soothe yourself. You even did that in the womb. When we got your 3D ultra sound you had your hands near your face almost the whole time.
When you were just 9 days old, we took you to our best friends wedding, Jessaca and Billy. I was so worried about you the whole time, but you were such a good girl...
All of your cousins love you and Sophie couldnt wait to get her hands on you. Once she got ahold of you she didnt want to let go. I have a feeling you two will be buddies.
Everyone says you look a lot like daddy. Your hair is starting to get lighter and when it's wet it gets a bit wavy. You may just have blonde curls like your daddy did.
The moment you were placed on my chest, i was so overwhelmed with love for you. My love for you grows more everyday!!
You smile in you sleep and dream all of the time and you've even smiled at me a few times awake. i dont think its gas...
So many people love and pray for you already. Your life is blessed. I named you Olivia Love, not only because I love the name Liv, but also because I want you to live a life full of love. 'The Greatest of these is Love'. I can already tell you're gonna be a little lover, you're so so sweet.
My favorite story to remember is the first full night in the hospital I was so tired after being up all night the previous night and visitors that whole day. Andrea, Maggie's older sister said she was happy to take you into the nursery so I could rest, so I fed you and they took you into the nursery (I felt so sad and reluctant to let you go) but just 2 hours later they returned you to my room saying you were hungry and had been crying in the nursery. I was suprised that you would be hungry already, but they laid you next to me and you stopped crying, but you didnt want to eat. Silly me called the nurse back in and told her you didnt want to eat, so she took you back to the nursery. Only an hour later she wheeled you back in and said she really is hungry. Once more you were not interested in the boob, but you were so still and content laying next to me. It was then that it hit me, I was your mommy and you wanted me. I was overwhelmed with the feeling that you needed to be close to me. You knew me. After carrying you inside of me for 9 months, you wanted to remain close. A feeling I had never experienced, being a mommy. I'm so happy to be your mommy.

A Sunday afternoon Baby Shower

This past Sunday was my baby shower, kindly thrown by my sister and my mom at my sisters house...it was wonderful to see so many faces that I haven't for a long time. It was perfect weather, and great company, and I was definitely "showered" with so many amazing gifts for this baby girl. I felt very loved, which is always a good feeling. ( : This morning Pete and I unloaded the trunk and now have a couch covered in pink frilly goodness. Now the biggest challenge lies in trying to find a place for everything. I'm so anxious for that day, hopefully soon, when the loft is done and ready and I can feel prepared to have this baby arrive anyday. For the most part on my days off, when I dont go to school, I take it easy. But this morning I took a long trip to Ikea where I met my wonderful sister in law who is taking on this loft project with me to help us get it complete. She is an architectural designer and it helps so much to have her input. My pregnancy brain doesn't allow me to make decisions very well and I would like to be Mary Poppins, snap my fingers and have it be done. When usually, I love the creative process in making something come together....once I was done walking around getting ideas and taking pictures to show Pete, I bought a HUGE $1 cinnamon roll and VERY slowly walked back to my car. I think I overstayed my welcome. My lower back and body were yelling at me to get home.

Anyway, more on the loft later, back to baby shower...the morning of, I took my niece Emma to Forever 21 with me to figure out something to wear for the shower. It was so cute the way she thoughtfully helped me pick something and how much even her 8 year old advice helped. "This Large looks a little big around the waist Emma, do you think I should get a medium?" "Well i think it would be a good idea to get a large so you'll be able to grow into it and wear it your whole pregnancy"....uhhh wow!! Thanks!! You totally talked me into the large. I just love my nieces so much and want to be apart of their lives as they grow and mature and become their own wonderful persons. I already love each of their own unique personnalities. I LOVE it that my little girl has some lovely young ladies to look up to as role models. We are really really blessed, and SO appreciative of everyone who joined us and showered us with your gifts, but mostly your presence. And Thank you a million times mom and sister for all your love and hard work you put in. It was perfect!!

XO,
Lindsey

I'M HUNGRY!!!

32 weeks


Bad planning on our part...We tore out the kitchen appliances to do the hardwood floors...only now we don't have a kitchen...until next week. And I'm STARVING!! What am i supposed to eat?!? We have a refrigerator that needs food, and a toaster. I'm tired of Eggo waffles and yogurt (well actually I ate them all) Pete is at work and now i'm on my 4th pretzel stick, the really long and fat ones, and my mouth is feeling a little dry. Only, being 32 weeks pregnant, the motivation to get my butt up and go to the store is lacking something fierce, even if the corner market is 100 yards away. Pathetic I know.
I have been really spoiled in this pregnancy. A husband who loves to serve me and cook, and nothing major as far as sickness or back ache. But I get now what women mean when in the "final stretch" they are ready to be done being pregnant. I'm not quite to the point where I'm screaming get this baby out of me but i'm not gonna lie, there are a few annoyances that come with having a ball attached to your front middle at all times...
For one, im a stomach sleeper, and I wake up ten times a night and look at my husband with envy as he sleeps comfortably on his stomach, one foot off the bed, just how I like it.
I find going pee 8 times a night pretty annoying too, especially when you sit down and a tinkle tinkle comes out like i'm 2.
I am excited to have a normal sex life back, or any sex life at all for that matter.
Everything has stretched and added an extra layer and changed color. Will it all look normal again?
My face feels swollen all of the time, and in addition this wonderful sunshine has given me a nice little mustache that i've never had before, no matter what ammount of sunscreen I put on. (I know its a common thing called pregnancy mask caused by hormones) Does this all sound vain? yes!! I realize it!! But...
With all that said, I am SOOOO excited and thankful that this little one is growing healthy inside of me. No ammount of discomfort will compare to what it feels like to see her for the first time and realize that my body made her!!!! It's really really amazing!!! I have so many pregnant friends who say the same thing, "not to sound selfish, but i'm just ready to have this baby on the outside of my belly and have my body back." I think its pretty stinkin normal to feel that way. It's CRAZINESS the way everything changes and all the adjustments women have to make. And the men stand by and watch, and still drink their beer, and Pete laughs at me as I grunt loudly from being kicked in the ribs by this little mover and shaker. It's all fun, all an experience and all one that will be wrapping up within the next month and a half. I have SO much to do and SO little time!!! I'm really looking forward to my baby shower this upcoming weekend, hosted by my mom and sister in Yuba Duba....so much to look forward to...

LAZY WEEKEND...

LAZY WEEKEND IN MEADOWOOD...


Just spent an amazing weekend with my man in Meadowood, St. Helena.
We want to take advantage of these days off together as much as we can before the baby arrives.
Pete's moms house is the perfect get away spot, and we love spending time with her. No better time to do it then
a rainy weekend with "predictions" of an earthquake "somewhere in California" ahem San Francisco perhaps? I was a little anxious on Saturday night after getting home from school, alone in the loft, pouring rain outside and the dog looking at me funny, so while Pete closed the shop, I packed up an overnight bag good for 2 nights for the both of us, put the dog in the back of the car, and headed to watch him close up shop at work. I must have looked like the psycho pregnant wife showing up at his workplace before he was off, but I didnt care and I thought it felt really good to be together at such a "scary time". hahaha!! No one else was scared but me!!! But one of the cutest things about Pete is he doesnt ever get worried; he really is a man in every sense of the word, and he makes me feel so safe just being with him. And he agreed without hesitation to ease my anxiety and head up to his moms. The rain was coming down so hard that night we probably would have been safer in an earthquake then driving on the road to Napa!!

On Sunday the power went out, so we used the remainder of the battery on my laptop to watch home videos, eat eat and eat some more, journal, read and nap, while he kept the logs on the fire for the afternoon. After waking up from a 2 hour nap, I found out that the power was still out so we were gonna head down the hill to meadowood and get a room for the night. Yay!!!! It felt a little like our wedding weekend and there was a couple times I found myself wishing my family could be there with us too....I LOVE waking up to the quiet morning in Meadowood, the stillness in the crisp air and the feeling like everything is at peace. Must be why I enjoy the spa atmosphere so much too....Quite the contrary to the busy alley we live in right now in the city...horns honking, sirens sirening, people yelling, dogs barking. I think i've found i'm not a city girl...the older I get the more I want to get away somewhere quiet. Is that just me? Or do you concur?
Im thankful for moments like these to get away from the busy city and spend some quality time with Pete. I cant believe in a little over 2 months we will have a baby girl addition to our family. At times it feels like being a newlywed and pregnant at the same time has been a lot to take on all at once, but I know we're only getting stronger and we will love every minute of having this new precious baby girl in our lives...




29 weeks...

Our Wedding, January 30th 2011

Here is a snapshot of our wedding, done by my very talented friend Kyle Garrett. So excited to have this and watch it over and over again. I love it!! He totally captured our day...I don't know how to make it bigger!!

Lindsey & Pete from Kyle Garrett on Vimeo.

RIGHT NOW.

I'm sure this post will sound pretty dramatic. But I want to remember this morning when I look back on old posts.
I had a moment this morning that comes sporadically. The moment that you just need to cry because it feels really good.
I know it sounds so hormonal, (hello!! this sounds pretty common when you're pregnant) but it feels so much more then that. To me it feels like being alive, when for a second I STOP.....................
and have real emotion, that may just be Gods way of getting me to take it all in and the good gifts that surround me. When no one else is around and I'm overwhelmed with life and everything that we take for granted. And the way our breath just comes so naturally unless something happens to our health. I have to have these times or else I will do life and forget to take a look around at where I am right now. I look back on seasons that have come and gone, and wish for them again, or wish we would have at least appreciated them more while they were here. Like looking back on old pictures when my nieces were little tiny girls with baby faces, and how they are growing up and learning more and more about life everyday....or how it's easy to find and dwell on the negative things, or the things that bother us about things in our life that we wish could change. I want to live in each moment and be present, be thankful for what life has for us right now. Not dwell or hang onto the past, or anticipate the future to the point of forgetting about right now, the moment that I will never have again.

"Be here now, no other place to be, all the doubts that linger, just set them free, and let good things happen, let the future come, into each moment like the rising sun..." ~ Mason Jennings.

Sometimes I have an overwhelming feeling of everything that I want to do, and i feel like life moves so quickly, and i'm lost as to where to start. I have to remember that it's ok to rest now, because i'm tired ....and my body is already working really hard to make this little baby. It is a season of rest. And that is good. Sometimes inspiration comes and takes over the bones and i have to remind myself to stay put. But it doesnt mean that these dreams exist for no reason. In fact, I am confident that these desires are placed inside for a reason, and in the right season will come to fruition.

6 months, and a Baby Girl!!!

It's funny when life throws a little surprise at you, and exciting all the same. When you think something is going to be one way and your brain adjusts to thinking in those terms and then WHAMMY, its different.
At 12 weeks Pete and I got an ultrasound by our sister in laws parents. SO many people told us it's way too early to tell the sex of the baby, but we took the "it looks like you're having a boy" and ran with it. She even said, "Don't quote me on this" but we did. We began our planning and nickname calling as if we had a little man growing inside, baby bubba, Liam, Finn, the name kept changing. Pete was excited to have a little buddy to teach him all the manly things, and I imagined having myself a little sidekick to chum around with....
When we FINALLY were able to go get a sonogram last week, after what feels like a loooong time of waiting, the sweet lady looks at us and says, "SORRY TO BURST THE BOY BUBBLE BUT YOU GUYS ARE HAVING A BABY GIRL!!!"
We were overwhelmed with excitement and mind adjustment and the beautiful images of our little girls face flashing across the sonogram screen. I looked at Pete to read if there was a possibility of disappointment on his face but instead he had a huge smile and said he was so excited. She looked like she was sucking her thumb for a long time but once her little hand moved away from her face, we got to see her yawn, smile, and just look pretty for us. I think Pete fell in love right then and there. We excitedly got into the car and began our phone calls to the family where everyone celebrated in our excitement and laughed at the sudden change in mindset that had to take place. I feel like it took no more then 10 minutes for our minds to wrap around a little girl. We had a huge smile on our faces for the remainder of the day (we went on a date at Cafe Rouge in Berkeley and split a burger) and talked about all the amazing things we would experience having a little girl. Pete suddenly felt the pressure of being a protector to her and felt like the job of being daddy just got a little tougher. The cute thing is, God knew all along that this precious little one growing inside of me was a girl. He knows her already, forming her and preparing her for this big world, fashioning her little personnality. I have a feeling she will be a daddy's girl, but I'm so excited for all the things I get to teach her about life and being a little lady. WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!!!!! I think the name at this point is Olivia Love. I love all the nicknames that come along with that name, and the option she will have to be called Liv. For now, I call her Livvy Love and love the femininity of it. ( : I hope she gets Pete's little blonde curls that he had when he was a baby. She could look just like her daddy and I would be so happy. ( : I think my husband is a hot tamale.

Today, I am at a coffee shop while the loft gets ceiling fans and new carpet upstairs. In a few weeks we will be getting new hardwood floors installed and basically a new kitchen. So excited to have all of this completed as the time inches closer to having a baby. I can't believe that in less then 3 months we will be experiencing parenthood. Excited and thankful for this new phase in our lives. And I LOVE that I get to share this pregnancy with so many good friends who are pregnant at the same time and due around the same week that I am! Natalie Jelavich-Day, Alison Hardebeck, Stephanie Birch-Molina, Liz Siegal, and I know there are many more...it's a baby boom!

6 MONTHS AND GROWING!!!





HOW CUTE IS PETE AS A LITTLE GUY!?!?