I'M HUNGRY!!!

32 weeks


Bad planning on our part...We tore out the kitchen appliances to do the hardwood floors...only now we don't have a kitchen...until next week. And I'm STARVING!! What am i supposed to eat?!? We have a refrigerator that needs food, and a toaster. I'm tired of Eggo waffles and yogurt (well actually I ate them all) Pete is at work and now i'm on my 4th pretzel stick, the really long and fat ones, and my mouth is feeling a little dry. Only, being 32 weeks pregnant, the motivation to get my butt up and go to the store is lacking something fierce, even if the corner market is 100 yards away. Pathetic I know.
I have been really spoiled in this pregnancy. A husband who loves to serve me and cook, and nothing major as far as sickness or back ache. But I get now what women mean when in the "final stretch" they are ready to be done being pregnant. I'm not quite to the point where I'm screaming get this baby out of me but i'm not gonna lie, there are a few annoyances that come with having a ball attached to your front middle at all times...
For one, im a stomach sleeper, and I wake up ten times a night and look at my husband with envy as he sleeps comfortably on his stomach, one foot off the bed, just how I like it.
I find going pee 8 times a night pretty annoying too, especially when you sit down and a tinkle tinkle comes out like i'm 2.
I am excited to have a normal sex life back, or any sex life at all for that matter.
Everything has stretched and added an extra layer and changed color. Will it all look normal again?
My face feels swollen all of the time, and in addition this wonderful sunshine has given me a nice little mustache that i've never had before, no matter what ammount of sunscreen I put on. (I know its a common thing called pregnancy mask caused by hormones) Does this all sound vain? yes!! I realize it!! But...
With all that said, I am SOOOO excited and thankful that this little one is growing healthy inside of me. No ammount of discomfort will compare to what it feels like to see her for the first time and realize that my body made her!!!! It's really really amazing!!! I have so many pregnant friends who say the same thing, "not to sound selfish, but i'm just ready to have this baby on the outside of my belly and have my body back." I think its pretty stinkin normal to feel that way. It's CRAZINESS the way everything changes and all the adjustments women have to make. And the men stand by and watch, and still drink their beer, and Pete laughs at me as I grunt loudly from being kicked in the ribs by this little mover and shaker. It's all fun, all an experience and all one that will be wrapping up within the next month and a half. I have SO much to do and SO little time!!! I'm really looking forward to my baby shower this upcoming weekend, hosted by my mom and sister in Yuba Duba....so much to look forward to...

LAZY WEEKEND...

LAZY WEEKEND IN MEADOWOOD...


Just spent an amazing weekend with my man in Meadowood, St. Helena.
We want to take advantage of these days off together as much as we can before the baby arrives.
Pete's moms house is the perfect get away spot, and we love spending time with her. No better time to do it then
a rainy weekend with "predictions" of an earthquake "somewhere in California" ahem San Francisco perhaps? I was a little anxious on Saturday night after getting home from school, alone in the loft, pouring rain outside and the dog looking at me funny, so while Pete closed the shop, I packed up an overnight bag good for 2 nights for the both of us, put the dog in the back of the car, and headed to watch him close up shop at work. I must have looked like the psycho pregnant wife showing up at his workplace before he was off, but I didnt care and I thought it felt really good to be together at such a "scary time". hahaha!! No one else was scared but me!!! But one of the cutest things about Pete is he doesnt ever get worried; he really is a man in every sense of the word, and he makes me feel so safe just being with him. And he agreed without hesitation to ease my anxiety and head up to his moms. The rain was coming down so hard that night we probably would have been safer in an earthquake then driving on the road to Napa!!

On Sunday the power went out, so we used the remainder of the battery on my laptop to watch home videos, eat eat and eat some more, journal, read and nap, while he kept the logs on the fire for the afternoon. After waking up from a 2 hour nap, I found out that the power was still out so we were gonna head down the hill to meadowood and get a room for the night. Yay!!!! It felt a little like our wedding weekend and there was a couple times I found myself wishing my family could be there with us too....I LOVE waking up to the quiet morning in Meadowood, the stillness in the crisp air and the feeling like everything is at peace. Must be why I enjoy the spa atmosphere so much too....Quite the contrary to the busy alley we live in right now in the city...horns honking, sirens sirening, people yelling, dogs barking. I think i've found i'm not a city girl...the older I get the more I want to get away somewhere quiet. Is that just me? Or do you concur?
Im thankful for moments like these to get away from the busy city and spend some quality time with Pete. I cant believe in a little over 2 months we will have a baby girl addition to our family. At times it feels like being a newlywed and pregnant at the same time has been a lot to take on all at once, but I know we're only getting stronger and we will love every minute of having this new precious baby girl in our lives...




29 weeks...

Our Wedding, January 30th 2011

Here is a snapshot of our wedding, done by my very talented friend Kyle Garrett. So excited to have this and watch it over and over again. I love it!! He totally captured our day...I don't know how to make it bigger!!

Lindsey & Pete from Kyle Garrett on Vimeo.

RIGHT NOW.

I'm sure this post will sound pretty dramatic. But I want to remember this morning when I look back on old posts.
I had a moment this morning that comes sporadically. The moment that you just need to cry because it feels really good.
I know it sounds so hormonal, (hello!! this sounds pretty common when you're pregnant) but it feels so much more then that. To me it feels like being alive, when for a second I STOP.....................
and have real emotion, that may just be Gods way of getting me to take it all in and the good gifts that surround me. When no one else is around and I'm overwhelmed with life and everything that we take for granted. And the way our breath just comes so naturally unless something happens to our health. I have to have these times or else I will do life and forget to take a look around at where I am right now. I look back on seasons that have come and gone, and wish for them again, or wish we would have at least appreciated them more while they were here. Like looking back on old pictures when my nieces were little tiny girls with baby faces, and how they are growing up and learning more and more about life everyday....or how it's easy to find and dwell on the negative things, or the things that bother us about things in our life that we wish could change. I want to live in each moment and be present, be thankful for what life has for us right now. Not dwell or hang onto the past, or anticipate the future to the point of forgetting about right now, the moment that I will never have again.

"Be here now, no other place to be, all the doubts that linger, just set them free, and let good things happen, let the future come, into each moment like the rising sun..." ~ Mason Jennings.

Sometimes I have an overwhelming feeling of everything that I want to do, and i feel like life moves so quickly, and i'm lost as to where to start. I have to remember that it's ok to rest now, because i'm tired ....and my body is already working really hard to make this little baby. It is a season of rest. And that is good. Sometimes inspiration comes and takes over the bones and i have to remind myself to stay put. But it doesnt mean that these dreams exist for no reason. In fact, I am confident that these desires are placed inside for a reason, and in the right season will come to fruition.

6 months, and a Baby Girl!!!

It's funny when life throws a little surprise at you, and exciting all the same. When you think something is going to be one way and your brain adjusts to thinking in those terms and then WHAMMY, its different.
At 12 weeks Pete and I got an ultrasound by our sister in laws parents. SO many people told us it's way too early to tell the sex of the baby, but we took the "it looks like you're having a boy" and ran with it. She even said, "Don't quote me on this" but we did. We began our planning and nickname calling as if we had a little man growing inside, baby bubba, Liam, Finn, the name kept changing. Pete was excited to have a little buddy to teach him all the manly things, and I imagined having myself a little sidekick to chum around with....
When we FINALLY were able to go get a sonogram last week, after what feels like a loooong time of waiting, the sweet lady looks at us and says, "SORRY TO BURST THE BOY BUBBLE BUT YOU GUYS ARE HAVING A BABY GIRL!!!"
We were overwhelmed with excitement and mind adjustment and the beautiful images of our little girls face flashing across the sonogram screen. I looked at Pete to read if there was a possibility of disappointment on his face but instead he had a huge smile and said he was so excited. She looked like she was sucking her thumb for a long time but once her little hand moved away from her face, we got to see her yawn, smile, and just look pretty for us. I think Pete fell in love right then and there. We excitedly got into the car and began our phone calls to the family where everyone celebrated in our excitement and laughed at the sudden change in mindset that had to take place. I feel like it took no more then 10 minutes for our minds to wrap around a little girl. We had a huge smile on our faces for the remainder of the day (we went on a date at Cafe Rouge in Berkeley and split a burger) and talked about all the amazing things we would experience having a little girl. Pete suddenly felt the pressure of being a protector to her and felt like the job of being daddy just got a little tougher. The cute thing is, God knew all along that this precious little one growing inside of me was a girl. He knows her already, forming her and preparing her for this big world, fashioning her little personnality. I have a feeling she will be a daddy's girl, but I'm so excited for all the things I get to teach her about life and being a little lady. WE'RE HAVING A GIRL!!!!! I think the name at this point is Olivia Love. I love all the nicknames that come along with that name, and the option she will have to be called Liv. For now, I call her Livvy Love and love the femininity of it. ( : I hope she gets Pete's little blonde curls that he had when he was a baby. She could look just like her daddy and I would be so happy. ( : I think my husband is a hot tamale.

Today, I am at a coffee shop while the loft gets ceiling fans and new carpet upstairs. In a few weeks we will be getting new hardwood floors installed and basically a new kitchen. So excited to have all of this completed as the time inches closer to having a baby. I can't believe that in less then 3 months we will be experiencing parenthood. Excited and thankful for this new phase in our lives. And I LOVE that I get to share this pregnancy with so many good friends who are pregnant at the same time and due around the same week that I am! Natalie Jelavich-Day, Alison Hardebeck, Stephanie Birch-Molina, Liz Siegal, and I know there are many more...it's a baby boom!

6 MONTHS AND GROWING!!!





HOW CUTE IS PETE AS A LITTLE GUY!?!?

A Splash of Color

Happiest of Birthdays to my beautiful Sister...February 9th, 1980

A Sister Birthday poem, To my sister on her Birthday...
Words don't define how divine it is, to know a friendship like this,
Close because we're sisters, but closer because we've grown, and we know
everything of one another, except for the special things you share only with a lover. ( ;
How lucky I am to look to someone so lovely, who loves me for me and who isn't afraid to
tell me like it is. If I tried for a moment to imagine life without you in it, I just couldn't do it and only God knew it,
That I would need a sister exactly like you. Sitting in a room with you either talking or in silence, still remains your quiet guidance that I will always need, and you will always be the big sister and the woman I always hoped to be. Thank you for being you, and always staying true to you, and being the example that every little sister needs to look up to. I will call you and ask you questions on how to be a mom, and how to cook a dinner thats bomb, and how to be a wife thats strong. Because I know you pass no judgement, and you love me right where I am. I can depend on you and know you'll be there always believing and encouraging me toward everything that is good and beauty... I'm not the only girl who looks up to you. I know there are many more, but especially your 3 beautiful daughters it's you they so adore. You only get more lovely with age because connected with it is a more steady grace, of wisdom and beauty and stability and maturity, You're beautiful sister, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, and MANY MANY more.

Love,
Your sister